So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
