Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
