That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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