We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
