Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
