I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
