you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
