wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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