Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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