We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
