I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
