They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
