Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
