in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
