she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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