someone get that fucking seahorse.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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