I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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