Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
