i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I had to cum in my sink.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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