Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
