Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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