Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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