it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
