the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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