You can't motorboat a personality
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My vagina is officially offended.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
