i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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