Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
