The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
