I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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