Already got asked if we're dating
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
