she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
