guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
