You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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