I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
