I hate your face
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
