Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
