theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
