i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
