I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
