He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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