Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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