So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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