i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
