I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize