I cannot find my penis.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
