Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There r osticjed everywhere
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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