are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
