i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
