We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
