her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
