Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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